Oh, the excuses are easier to write

It's been over a month since I was supposed to write my story. At least, start writing my story. Well, it's been started. Then, like an old car you refuse to get rid of, it stalled. I haven't written anything more since that one day where I got all excited and thrilled and jittery. I've only done other things and stayed away from my "responsibility" to write my grand idea.

Though, in the past month I did do some things that should count for something. There was Halloween. I started taking ballroom dancing lessons with my wife. I went to the circus (the real circus, not work).

But, what I didn't do was work on my committment to write. I want to do this the right way and keep at it until it is done. But, at the rate I'm going, my story will be done when I'm pining for retirement.

Though, I must say Halloween was a hoot! For the third year in a row I dressed up as one of my neighbors. I'll find a way to post a picture. Maybe.

The beginning...

Well, I finally started it. I began writing my story. Not just some filler information to be squeezed in later. Or some details about a plot line I wish to follow. Nope. I started at the beginning. I wrote the opening chapter of my book. At least I started the opening chapter.

And, I must say, I'm pretty happy with how it felt. I haven't gone back to read anything I typed up so far. I don't want to do that. I'm not going to get sucked into the mire of editing as I go. I just want to go. Forward. Far, far forward.

I'm happy with what I've done because, as I was writing it, it felt different than before. It didn't feel as if I had to get everthing just perfect. Or, I had to work within the confines of a set style or pattern of character development. I just started with a basic scene and let the words flow. I remember smiling as I wrote because of how it felt to do it. I also smiled because I was writing some things that were making me laugh. If anyone actually reads my story when it's done, I don't think they will necessarily find what I wrote to be funny. But, I did.

I'm not holding myself to a set number of words per day, week or month. I'm just holding myself to finishing what I started. Not getting discouraged if someone else has already done something similar (which a TV show did, but not in a good way). I just want to have fun. And, hopefully entertain someone else as well.

Another series of excuses

Wow. It's been a while since I posted to my blog. I've been busy with work, reading books NOT on my scheduled list and playing Metroid Prime 3: Corruption on my Wii. Nothing that benefits my project of my story. Though, the book I recently read was related to my chosen subject matter, so that counts.

I'm going to be mixing up my second and third month schedules. Month 2 was to be devoted to background and research. Month 3 devoted to writing. Since I wasn't that productive (nearly non-productive) in Month 2, I'm going to start writing in Month 3 anyway, but blend it with additional research and such.

Though, we'll have to see how all that goes. The new season of TV started this week... and I am a junkie.

Phase 2 and a series of excuses

Two days ago I was supposed to start Phase 2 of my writing quest. I didn't really do anything active in the "background" or "research" phase, but I've thought about it. I realize that writing is an active pursuit, and just thinking is way too passive. But, it's better than nothing.

This blog is a great way for me to set some rules for myself that I will follow with little enthusiasm, it seems. I want to write this story. I've talked about it and worked out many a kink in the plot. But, I haven't done anything active.

This blog is addictive; I do want to write more and more and more. I want to devote countless hours of the day to do this writing project, but reality and work and family always interfere. Plus, I'm historically lazy and don't follow through on projects that often. When I do, though, it's great. But, if I've got a bit of spare time, I'm playing a video game or reading a book by someone else.

This blog has seen a few days pass without a new entry. I work for Kane County government in the Water Resources division which deals with stormwater and floodplain management. Well, there was a bit of flooding during the end of August. And, when I'm at work, I usually find a spot of time to write a new entry. The water in other peoples' basements kept me from crafting a witty post. Not that having extra time to write would make it that much wittier, but I try.

My second phase is going to involve reading non-fiction books including writing books, history books and science books. It's also going to allow me to create some background stories for the characters. Flesh them out a bit. Figure out their hair colors, favorite foods and the last time they got laid. I'm talking some nitty, gritty details that may, or may not, appear in the book, but will give them a life of their own. So, as I write the story they are involved in, they will respond on their own accord, rather than me dictate their individual actions. Aww, who am I kidding? I'm playing God and I'm going to say who lives and who dies a horrible death.

Anyway, background will help me so things can be planned out a bit better. That's all. At least more than this blog.

A Sense of Elation

I actually wrote something down today. It was basically the outline I've been forming in my head, but I spent my lunch hour at work typing up the outline and got a page and a half down before my time was up. It felt good. In fact, I was so thrilled about my mini acheivement, I had to tell someone. Our office manager was the perfect candidate and is always a willing set of ears.

Even though she claims to be not much of a reader, she promised (and I'll hold you to it, Es) that she would read my story if it got published. So, another future fan? I hope so.

Anyway, it was a good feeling to get something done. Much like the anticipation I feel when I think of writing a new entry for this blog. I look forward to the next opportunity. Sometimes I don't want to wait and write multiple blogs in one day. But, I don't want this to be a record of each and every random thought that crosses my mind. This is to create a record of my goals, set and achieved.

Long Recovery?

It's been a few days because of several other things going on in my life. Golf, alcohol, hangover, work, moving offices, anniversary, etc. I could go into details. But, for at least one part of the list I can't remember everything because of another. Another two, I don't want to remember anything at all. And, two others I look forward to more and more to come.

I can't report much progress, so I won't. But, I can say that I am feeling pretty good about my rough structure. I won't call it an outline, since I need to flesh it out more. It's only 1/2 way through my month of outlining, so I still have time to give it more polish. I don't anticipate it being solid even when I finally write the story out. It's going to be rough now so I'm not locked into fitting everything to the outline.

Anyway, I just wanted to post to show I'm still alive and kicking. And working on my story.

I actually did something.

I'm finding that I'm more motivated to write a new blog posting than do actual work. Keeping in mind that this is a hobby-like venture and it doesn't pay any bills at all, I'm wishing I was independently wealthy so I could just read, write, blog and screw around all day. Then again, I can just pretend to do real work and do this while getting paid for something else that doesn't get done. Welcome to government work. Just kidding...

But, what I did do today was flesh out a portion of the outline I had locked in my brain. I put something down on paper. The basic story structure I have worked out has three parts. I need to outline what I'm doing for each part separately and then blend them together to get the slow reveal as it all progresses. I have the basics for one part. It's a start.

I'm not lazy, just still working slow

The main reason for my blog is to keep me on track. I am starting to crave the time I find to post, but I'm starting to neglect my duties regarding my "project." I am not making the progress I hoped because I am not taking the time to write everything done in my outline. I've got the pieces, parts, whatever. I am just not putting it down on paper, in the computer, whatever.

It will be difficult this weekend to do anything constructive, but then again, this is why I gave myselft time. It's not a sprint. (It's not November, NaNoWriMo). It's a marathon. It will take time, patience, whatever.

I am determined. I know I can do it. I know I WILL do it. Just forgive me if it all seems a bit lazy.

Also, I was given the pleasure of reading Barb's first three chapters of her book Uncovering Amethyst. I told her that I didn't want to read the whole thing until it saw print. It should be a short wait. I think it's very good. At least, I hope it's a short wait. I do want to read more. The characters are fully realized and grab your attention right away.

Not a lot of progress, but some

I've got my structure. I've also got some help lined up for technical input. I also figured out my cast of characters. At least the important ones.

But, something I've neglected to mention so far is that I've got that which seems to be the writer's standard: my significant other. My wife, Lauren, has been wonderfully supportive so far with this endeavor. She has been encouraging me for years to write one of my ideas and try to live the dream of completing a story. While it is true that a complete stranger at a party doing shots of Grappa was the one that gave me my "kick in the ass," it has always been my wife who has given me the support. Without her I wouldn't be able to recognize the kick and understand that I can do this. I can write something and reach my goal. And for that, I am grateful. She has allowed me to ramble on endlessly about my ideas and has been honest when one wouldn't work, or if one was just plain stupid. But, this one I'm going to be working on? She said it was my best yet. That may not be saying much. I'll let others decide once I get my story complete. But, with her honesty and her support, I'm going to do my best to make this one work.

Lauren, this one's for you. You are the best. I'm lucky to have you forever. I love you.

Progress Report and Some Help

Yesterday was another day in which I did not post. Again, oh, well. It's not a contest, a race or a scored event. It's my way of keeping track of what I do for my benefit.

But, what I did do yesterday is work out the format for my story. The plot is basic, but the structure needs to be a bit different to set my story apart from others in the same genre. So, that's what I did. I came up with a structure that fits my premise, my characters and my desire. Unfortunately, it doesn't fit my skills or experience. So, I will have to learn some basic skills in the area I am unfamiliar with. Isn't that what all writers do? Learn as they go. And, then with experience, they go further.

So, I've got my structure. My plan, if you will. And, I also have some help. My premise requires some expertise that I do not have, nor ever will. But, conveniently, my mother-in-law does. So, I asked her for permission to work through some of the details of my story which requires her knowledge, education and, most importantly, her experience. So, Reen, thanks in advance for helping me out.

A Reason for Skipping

I didn't write an entry yesterday. I thought about, and actually considered taking a break to post one. But, I didn't. And here are two reasons why:

1. I don't think I need to do one every single day. I will miss for many reasons and it's not like I'm trying to break a new world record in blogging. I'm just doing this for myself to keep me going. I don't need to burden myself with unrealistic expectations.

and,

2. I went golfing yesterday. Not big news for many people out there. But, it was the first time in 12 years (or so I'm figuring). I went with three of my neighbors, Eric, Bryan and Pat, and had a great time. I suck at golf and I went yesterday with no unrealistic expectations. True, I hoped I would have a fantastic drive, or sink a putt from 50 feet. But, I know I suck at golf, and I know I'll never be so great I could quit my job and go pro. But, I wanted to try something I hadn't done in a very, very long time and stopped doing because I sucked back then. I wanted to try something again simply because I do suck and the only way to get better is to try it again and start out with a different mentality: That I suck and I'll just have fun anyway.

That is part of the whole "Don't be a sissy" mantra. If you think you suck and will always suck and will be depressed because you suck, it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. But, if you know you suck and think that maybe you won't suck if you try and that you just won't take it seriously at all, then maybe you won't suck in the future as much. You will suck less.

So, I went golfing. I got better over the course of the game (pun intended as they always should be) and did, indeed, suck less at the end of the day. And, I didn't post yesterday. So, I'm posting now and will continue to work on my outline. And, at the end of the month, I hope I will suck less as well. But, if my story outline still sucks? Well, I'll keep going, adjust my schedule, and just have fun with this whole process.

Slow, but progressing

I started my outline. Rather, I started sketching out some of the basic ideas I hope to use. Not much, but then again, that's why I gave myself a month. I figure some days I'll get an idea or two. On others I'll just burn across the page with idea after idea after idea. Hopefully, some of them will even be coherent.

I also took some time to transcribe some of my ideas from other notebooks and such into my main book.

Also, I checked out a book from the library on the recommendation from my new friend, Barb Annino. Plot & Structure by James Scott Bell. I'll start going through this one first as I don't own it.

Check out Barb's website at www.barbannino.com. Her book Uncovering Amethyst will be a great read.

The Start: Day One

Okay. I'm going to start today. I've got work and other obligations in the way, but I will be working on my outline today. I'd much rather be working on my project than work, but I can't pay the bills with an unwritten story. So, work it is.

My general goal is to create a rough idea of where I want to go with the story. A framework. A rough, broad, really empty framework. I've got my main story idea and what I'd like to do with it. I just need that framework to build my story so it can be enjoyed (I hope) by others. I don't want it to be a house of cards which may look great and get lots of comments as to how complex it is. But, it can also be completely flattened with a cross-eyed glance. I want a strong story. One with a foundation, good structural integrity and all the amenities. I'm also not planning on some architectural masterpiece that will be recognized in the future for it's elaborate beauty but inaccesibility. I want a story that, to continue the metaphor, provides warmth, shelter and can be enjoyed by anyone.

I just want to do what I've thought of doing for the past several years. And today I will start.

That, and I enjoy posting to this blog.

Last Day of Dreaming

This is my last day of thinking, wishing, dreaming. This is my last day of being lazy, uninspired, unmotivated. This is my last day of procrastinating, my last day of being a sissy.

Tomorrow I start. I realize that I set an artificial deadline that may be too long, but it may be too short. I won't know until I start working on my story. But, tomorrow I start.

I've also decided not to think of my project as a "novel" or a "book," but a story. I still have several ideas swarming my brain and more scribbled on paper. I need to select one and run with it. If I don't, I'll have several false starts and nothing to show for them. I know which idea I'm running with, I just hope I can keep up and don't give up.

Several realizations about writing have led me to this blog and my project. Some I figured out on my own, others I learned from people who do this for a living.

1. A story is for others, not the writer.
2. A story never told is a story never told.
3. Nothing is perfect from the start. Nothing is likely to be perfect, ever.
4. You can't finish something you never start.
5. You can't complete a journey if you keep revisiting the same spots.
6. You can't go anywhere if you are too afraid of anything.

Kinda cryptic, but these are some of the ideas I've struggled with and will continue to do so. But, I'm going to work through the self-imposed obstacles, get off my butt and not be a sissy. Tomorrow I start with the goal of reaching the finish line.

Update to the Writer's Library

Seeing as this blog is as much a record of what I do for anyone who wishes to follow my journey as it is a record of what I do for myself, here is the update for my collection of writing references.

1. The Writer's Handbook, 1998 edition (It's old and out of date as that's when I thought I could get serious about the writing thing.... it only took 10 years)
2. Non-Fiction Writer's Guide: A writer's resource to firearms and ammunition
3. The New Well-Tempered Sentence by Karen Elizabeth Gordon
4. The Deluxe Transitive Vampire by Karen Elizabeth Gordon
5. The Art of Fiction by John Gardner
6. Science Fiction Handbook, Revised by L.Sprague de Camp and Catherine Crook de Camp
7. Woe is I by Patricia T. O'Conner
8. Burning Down The House: Essays on Fiction by Charles Baxter (signed by the author)

I may have one or two others lying around somewhere, but this is what I have at home at my disposal. I don't know if I'll read them all, just look through a few or start wistfully at them while trying to will my novel into existence. But, I've got them.

If anyone has a recommendation for other important books about writing, let me know. I don't think anyone will be reading this blog for a while, but I'll ask anyway.

Scott

Keeping Pace

Well, it's day four. I guess I can keep up the pace. I'll admit, I'm not planning on blogging every day, but if I can get something written and posted, I'll be happy.

It may not be much each day I do post, but it will be at least an update on my writing.

As a follow-up to yesterday, I did find the rest of my books on writing, but I didn't have a chance to list them today. Maybe I'll double post and list them tonight, but sometime this week for sure.

I also went through the majority of the notebooks I have scribbled in over the past few years tearing out pages and collecting my ideas. Now, I've got to go through the pages and transcribe them all into one location. I will be keeping up with the travelling notebook idea and write all that comes to mind in one place.

Knowing my own track record, I'm not sure how long this will all last. But, I'm still up for the challenge.

The Streak Continues

Butter me up, I'm on a roll! Three days in a row I've posted. There may not be much substance in many of these posts, or even all of them, but I'm going to be as consistent as possible.

If nothing else, I feel I succeed by typing up some post with something. And, if I include an update to what I do regarding my story idea, then it's better yet.

So, what did I do between posts? I cleaned a major portion of my basement and dug out some books I have on writing. I've read a few, but only glance through the others. What I plan to do with these books is go through them all quickly cover-to-cover and try to absorb as much as I can. I own them so I can refer back to them at anytime. They are "reference" books after all.

So, these are the books I have so far:

1. The Weekend Novelist by Robert J. Ray
2. Making Shapely Fiction by Jerome Stern
3. If You Can Talk, You Can Write by Joel Saltzman
4. How to Write Tales of Horror, Fantasy & Science Fiction ed. by J.N. Williamson
5. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing a Novel by Tom Monteleone (signed by the author!)

I know I have a few others, but I haven't found them yet. I've got a lot of books all over the place. Some I would highly recommend, others not-so-much.

Maybe on one of these posts, I'll go through my favorite books and a list of books I feel are important to read. But, for the most part, this will just be a rambling chronicle of my attempt to write a story. Novel idea, eh?

Progress is Good

Already I've written twice as much on this blog as I did on the last. At least in the number of posts. I must be getting serious with this whole thing.

Anyway, I've been giving it more thought and needed to create a plan or schedule and stick to it. So, as a start, and this is likely to change, here's my initial plan.

1. Create outline of story starting August 1st and finish by end of month.
2. Work through research materials when not actually writing anything down.
3. Flesh out background information on settings and characters during September.
4. Start writing first draft beginning October 1st.
5. Write as time permits until first draft is done.

I think this is a good start and something I will commit to. I will not be a sissy and give in to my dark, procrastinating, excuse-making side. At least once I finish reading Harry Potter 7.

Step One: My New Mantra

This is the start of my blog. Wow. Nothing fancy, nothing important. Just my thoughts about the writing process as I go through it.

For years (and I mean YEARS), I've always thought of how cool it would be to write a story and get it published. I've seen many books make it to print that weren't worthy of the pulp and ink, so I figure I could do it. Never had exposure to the publishing process until I met a writer who finally got a shot. Based on his experiences, I know that it's going to be a bitch to get in print. But, I've never actually written anything that could go anywhere. I've thought about it (more like fantasized) but never followed through. Ideas come and go, wistful dreams of seeing my name in print right along with them.

But, I've had a few ideas that, with a lot of effort, could be good ones. Some of them I've discussed with friends or family that would be kind and gentle with criticism. Most, I've kept locked away in my brain never to be shared. This is a bad, bad thing to do. Stories are meant to be shared. If they are good stories, then maybe someone who can make money off them will print it to reach a larger audience. This is common sense, but I've got to write it down so I can believe it. Again, stories are meant to be shared.

In order to share the stories they have to be written. And that is the main crux of my problem. I don't write. I think. I dream. I sketch. I plot. I don't write. I do make excuses. I do work out plot holes. I do procrastinate. I do not write. Until now. Sort of.

I did write a story about 3 years ago and started a blog about that same time. But, in the three years since I had one single post in my blog and my story still sits without revision or polish. So I am restarting my blog and I intend to start writing my story. And this is why:

I am not a sissy!

It started after a book launch party and involved two friends of the writer and a shot-and-a-half of Grappa. One friend (sorry, didn't get all the names... but I'm sure I'll be editing this some day.) was handed a full shot of Grappa and was given the instructions to "be sure to shoot it." The other friend came over and had a half shot of the Grappa. Apparently, he'd been sipping it, contrary to the given instructions. Friend One tells Friend Two to "shoot it with her." He politely declined. Friend One then tells Friend Two, "I've got a full shot, your's is only half. Don't be a sissy!"

Later, a call for pizza orders was made to the group. Friend One speaks up and says "Everything on everything. You can just pick the stuff you don't like off." I then piped up, "Yeah. Just pick it off. Don't be a sissy!" Well, it may be a location joke, but I thought the whole thing was hilarious. We all laughed a bit about the whole thing.

Still chuckling later, with some more introductions and other alcoholic sampling, I told some of the new friends about my story idea which I'm going to start and is the basis of this blog. I explained that I think I've got some good ideas, but just never seem to get to the process of writing the stories. What did I hear next? "Don't be a sissy! Just write."

So, here I am. Writing. Again, nothing fancy. Nothing great. But, writing nonetheless.

Welcome to my blog. Welcome to my journey. Maybe this will progress beyond this post. I hope it will.

Thanks,

Scott